shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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