it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
