There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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