Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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