Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
