No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
