I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
