If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize