and you said cock pushups were impossible
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
