just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
