And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
