I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
