are you still at the devil's house?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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