Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
