oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
