The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
