i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize