Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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