If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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