I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
