Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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