everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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