I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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