To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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