he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
