I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
