I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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