i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize