i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
