just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
