Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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