If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
