No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
