i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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