Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
