I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
