I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize