weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
