He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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