do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
