nut hugger
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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