Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are two peas in an std pod
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
