I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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