dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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