He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
