I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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