and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
