Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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