While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
