And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
