You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize