My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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