Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
