dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
