My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
