dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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