just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize