You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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