evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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