youre lurking in front of me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize