my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
