just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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