I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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