tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
