I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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