dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
