Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
