I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
