Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
