I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
