I'm so fucking centered right now
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
