Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
