Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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