Can Purell be used as lube?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
