Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
