not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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