Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
